OUR DREAM: to be published in a mind-numbing TWENTY newspapers, bringing joy and happiness to your town for a fee per cartoon per press run. Isn't America wonderful?

NEWSPAPERS SO FAR: ZERO

OUR PHILOSOPHY IS SIMPLE

PUTTING YOU #1: at IAN INK the customer comes first. We care about you, and we intend to keep it that way. It's not just about laughs at IAN INK, it's about dead-serious business, with some laughs on the side.

MAKING IT EASY: easy is the name of the game at IAN INK. We know you have more important things to do than dealing with a cartoonist.

Our crack team of top cartoon experts crunched heads for years to devise OUR DIABOLICAL PLAN -- making it as easy and painless as possible for our customers to purchase the best cartoons possible.

We just had to sacrifice somebody to do it.

OUR DIABOLICAL PLAN

SUBTERFUGE: when it comes to our product, we went to the extreme: the ALASKAN EXTREME.

We sent a top secret cartoon operative, Agent 64, to the wilderness of Alaska -- to a bush town so remote the only way to get there is by plane or boat. With a population in the hundreds, off the road system, and no cruise ship interaction, this isolated bush town became the perfect venue for subversive cartoon action.

Originally planted as a seasonal employee for the Federal Government, Agent 64 infiltrated the socio-political-cultural hierarchy. After years of thorough investigation, Agent 64 stands today as a hardened bush town survivor, repentant with his own computer consulting business.

Little did the people of that Alaskan bush town know -- after spending years intimately intertwined with Agent 64 -- that the real purpose of his endeavors was not merely field and computer work! No! Ha! A more sinister plan had been well under way!

A WELL-OILED MACHINE

Teamwork is the name of the game at IAN INK. Producing top quality cartoons isn't just our job, it's our SCIENCE. When the iron's hot, WE STRIKE.

1) THE IDEA

Every evening Agent 64 retires to his cartooning fortress, "The Floating Pagoda" -- a sublime little haunt anchored in the middle of a remote bay. With only an old rickety 12 volt generator, a laptop, and a phone line strung through the woods, does Agent 64 relate his daily events back to headquarters, where we, at IAN INK, with all marvels of modern technology at our fingertips, kick into action!

2) THE EXECUTION

Swiftly the integrity of the idea is maintained by instantaneous action by our design team. Using artistic techniques developed over years of experience, and following a strict review policy instituted to insure quality at every step of the process, do we achieve top-notch levels of excellence for our product. Nothing but the best for our customers!

3) 21st CENTURY DISTRIBUTION

Science and technology goes together like ham and eggs at IAN INK. Using the latest marvels of modern science we instantaneously distribute our product with the most painless of ease.

Our web guy handles the brunt of the work: scanning, updating the website, uploading camera quality copy, and sending the link to our customers. The only thing our customers need to do is simply point their browser to the link and download a file! Isn't technology wonderful?

4) TRUST (YOU WILL send us money)

Nothing is more satisfying in this world than being compensated for a job well done.

Thanks!