WHAT'S ON IANINK.COM 2006
322 'TOONS, 1/3 OF A BOOK, 28 SONGS, and Ian stuff, too!

2006_12_23
STUFF O' LIFE

Magnificent. Life is beautiful. Seattle is stunning. The city is an explosion of energy, life, hustle, and joy. There is so much to do, and I have done plenty.

It helps to have lots of money.

I’m a long way from Yakutat now, but I am thankful for the lessons I’ve learned in that nutty little town; they’re coming in handy now that I am a city slicker.

 

2006_11_30
NOAA SHIP RAINIER SHIRT DESIGN

I was lucky enough to be invited to draw the NOAA ship Rainier’s official shirt for field season 2006! Two styles were printed up -- a bunch on white T-shirts and a bunch more as black long sleeve shirts.

Very cool.

2006_11_06
BACK TO SEATTLE

Life is good! After three wonderful weeks of bobbing about the Puget Sound, with weekend romps of Victoria, Canada, and Bellingham, Washington, our ship has found temporary port at the NOAA Sandpoint facility in Seattle.

The next test for a small town gent like me is to attempt to understand city life for the next four months; I dunno, though, could be a tough one.

 

2006_10_23
GOOD OL' FASHIONED ALASKAN CARTOONS

To the couple of folks who’ve noticed the lack of Alaskan Bush Town cartoons, I apologize. I’ve been in 'biting nails' mode during the NOAA application process the last couple months, and as a result couldn't focus my attention on much of anything aside from playing massive loads of golf.

So, without any further ado, here’s five more good ol’ fashioned Alaskan Bush Town cartoons.

 

2006_10_15
THE BEARS OF VICTORIA, CANADA

We stopped in Victoria, Canada for a couple days. I’m too poor at the moment to go nuts and enjoy Victoria proper. About the best I could do was walk around and take a snap of me with the many Victoria Bears (I made a dizzying animation of it).

Sunday night I bumped into a group of people handing out sandwiches to the homeless, of which there are LOTS here. I tagged along and helped out for the evening, meeting a few folks who, despite education and experience, were simply down on their luck.

I appreciate how lucky I am -- with my generous NOAA job and all -- and understand how fate can be a strange thing, and -- despite how prepared you can be -- how ultimately luck plays a huge part in life.

 

2006_10_11
I GOT MY DREAM JOB!!!

I am extremely pleased and proud to announce that I’ve accepted a position to serve aboard a NOAA research vessel as an Assistant Hydrographic Technician!

After a couple months of tests and paperwork, today is my first day aboard ship! Woo hooo!

This is my dream job, folks -- to live aboard a ship that maps, surveys and studies the wingspan of Alaska! A real dream come true for a lug nut like me!

 

2006_10_02
IANINK's EASTER EGG: BIG METAL ROBOT

I’ve embedded a fat ‘easter egg,’ on ianink.com, an entire musical album titled, Big Metal Robot. Big Metal Robot is a collection of ten songs that I consider not appropriate for general use on my website.

I wrote these suspect punk songs many, many years ago, and I fear they could be taken out of context from their original intention -- that of simply being cantankerous, malfeasant songs written by a bucking mores college kid.

If you’d like to try and find the Big Metal Robot easter egg, more power to you. But if you’d like to forgo the adventure, just shoot me an email and I’ll gladly reply with the link to the album.

iancolvert@gmail.com

 

2006_09_25
HUMBOLDT GEOGRAPHY PAMPHLET LIVE

I’ve been informed by my good friends back at the Mother Land (Humboldt State University) that the wonderful Geography Pamphlet I worked on last year has come to fruition! (Click above for the front and back views.)

After getting my grubby paws on the finished product I must say I am extremely pleased at the result, and must profoundly thank all those at HSU who made it happen! Thanks Mary Beth! Dennis! Jo! Kevin! Rebecca! You guys are the greatest!

 

2006_08_10
TWO CONSECUTIVE PAR 4 EAGLES

I’m in Phoenix, it’s 106 degrees, I play golf. Eighth hole. After a good drive, I’m 132 yards out. I hit an easy 9 iron that plops a yard short and plunks solidly into the hole.

I freak out.

My next round, two days later, Sixteenth hole. After a solid drive, I have 117 yards to the pin. Easy pitching wedge. The ball thumps a yard in front of the pin and rolls in the cup softly as if it were a perfect putt.

I don’t freak out.

 

2006_06_30
IAN WINS A BIKE RACE | RANDOM PICS

I need to brag. I showed up for a mountain bike ride at the Valles Calderas. Of the hundreds that are there, 20 or so super bikers organize an impromptu race over a 48 mile circuit throughout the Preserve.

These folks mean business, folks: fancy bikes, youth, ripped muscles, serious deals. I’m a fat, bald old man with a beloved mountain bike pushing ten years old. I enter the race 20 minutes late because I gotta find someone to lend me a helmet.

The first stage has a mountain climb from 7,200 to 9,800 feet. I like to climb and did so proper, unwittingly passing all those before me who appeared to be grandly suffering from the high elevation.

I rode the rest of the distance without too much strain, and six hours and fifteen minutes after starting I crossed the finish line first. A good hour ahead of second place. Yeah!

 

2006_06_10
THE GOOD COWBOYS OF NEW MEXICO

I was lucky enough to be invited to a branding and meet some outstanding quality folks; real New Mexican Cowboys. They let me participate by holding down the cows that were branded, castrated and injected with vaccines. Boy! Quite a site to behold!

Even though my worldview is 180 degrees opposite from these folks (I am a Humboldt Hippy, after all), I never felt more accepted and respected, and for the first time since arriving to New Mexico, I actually felt sincerely welcome to be in this fine state.

And thank you Emily for the good advice on how to hold down a cow.

 

2006_05_28
ESTOY EN EL VALLES CALDERA

Sometimes life works almost like a movie: having made a hole-in-one and achieving scratch golf last week -- whoosh! -- off I go and here I am in New Mexico working as a GIS Technician inside an ancient volcano, the Valles Caldera National Preserve.

Although I can’t obsess on golf much anymore, I am thrilled and privileged to be working in such a unique and beautiful place. I guess the consolation prize is that now I have time to draw some more good ol’ fashioned Alaskan Bush Town cartoons.

 

2006_05_19
SCRATCH!!!

Personally, I achieved two major golfing milestones today.

First, I shot my first round of golf under par, a one under 70.

Second, my golf handicap dipped to ZERO as a result, christening me a bona-fide SCRATCH GOLFER!

Lastly -- and most stunning -- over the last 108 holes played I am only TWO OVER PAR!

 

2006_04_29
INTRODUCING A NEW SECTION: PHOTOS

A couple friends are complaining they'd like to see a 'photos section,' so they don't hafta dig around an 'ian's world' to find a picture.

OK. Click 'ian,' click 'photos,' knock yerself out.

 

2006_04_26
MY FIRST HOLE-IN-ONE!

A smidge over 180, slight tug headwind, a tickle uphill, pin cut front left. 5 iron. Greens playing firm, just trying to land the ball front edge, roll up mid-green.

My dad’s telling the story how last winter, same hole, 34 degrees, I hit a 3 iron that hit the base of the flagstick, took a chunk out of the hole, and plumb shook the pin so violent it fell out of the cup! “No hole-in-one that day,” he jokes. Suddenly the ten or so folks watching me have great expectations.

Good swing, slight fade, four yards right of pin. Lands, kicks left off the back of the trap, and settles what seems near the hole. A young kid, excited, “It swirled around the cup!” I could see the ball -- hadn't gone in -- figured an optical illusion, really had a 15 footer coming back.

Walking to the green. Still didn’t believe it was near the hole, but when I got within 20 yards, couldn’t see the ball. My face took root the widest smile. Musta hung on the lip of the cup, and during my walk to the hole, musta dropped in.

And there it was. In the hole. Hole-in-one. Very thankful my Dad was there to see it. All is good in the world. World peace is possible. Justice for all. Love requires no fertilizer. And now I seem to smile just a little bit more than I should.

 

2006_03_24
THREE THINGS

I made three things recently that don’t quite belong on my website, but I‘ll post them anyway. The first is an entry to a T-shirt contest promoting the African Well Fund (kinda cute but it didn‘t win). The second is a T-shirt for my dad’s local cribbage hurrah, The Montana Cribbage Championship. And lastly a little print ad I made for my dad’s business (of which I am little bit proud of).

 

2006_03_07
I’M A LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTIN’ GIS MACHINE

It’s official. The grade has been cast, the paperwork submitted, and I will receive my certification in GIS and Remote Sensing soon. For your bewilderment I submit my uncanny final project that took a great effort to complete, my Spline Interpolation Proof Of The Stochastic Event Wind.

 

2006_02_22
'PLAY WINNING CRIBBAGE' CAN BE YOURS!

I made the mistake of telling my dad -- who happens to be the world’s greatest cribbage player (no, really, he IS DeLynn Colvert, The World's Greatest Cribbage Player) -- that my website received its 500,000 hit last month. My dad got excited and asked me to make a webpage for his book, Play Winning Cribbage, and sell it here. All fine and dandy, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him how my web stats really break down:

Basically, on average, ianink.com gets a bit more than 100 unique visitors a day. Ninety of which are bots or somebody popping in from a search engine really quick -- usually for my infamous vagina cartoon -- and promptly leaving. Ten folks a day spend just a minute or two clicking through stuff -- mostly cartoons -- which warms my heart and that I hope they enjoy. One person a week actually listens to my music, of which I am embarrassed but strangely thankful.

And one person a month goes absolutely ape-shit and spends hours clicking every dang possible thing over and over again! So to these rare and curious folks I ask, "Please buy my dad's book! It'll make his day!"

 

2006_02_12
EAST OF BUSH TOWN

John Stienbeck’s East of Eden is just about the best book I’ve ever read. I’m reading it again (for the third time), and am still deeply touched and amazed at how tremendous and beautiful Stienbeck’s work is. It chimes so relevant to life, relationships, society; enduring squeezed mix of human nature, humor, stupor, and tragedy. Just absolutely perfectomundo!

 

2006_01_20
WHAT TO EXPECT MAILED FROM BUSH TOWN

Once I was up at the Yakutat Glacier tromping around like a school boy, flipping out over the fact that the ground I was walking -- freshly exposed from the receding glacier -- had never been touched by another human being.

I grabbed a couple rocks and mailed one to a friend of mine down yonder in The Lower 48.

I get a letter back, complaining, “What the heck is this? A rock? You friggin' kiddin’ me? Send me some salmon!”

 

2006_01_14
WELCOME TO IAN INK V. 2.2

Despite the grand illusion of ianink.com, I don't spend much time on it -- including drawing the cartoons (this website isn’t that big of a deal to me, just something fun that oozes in size).

But I thought I’d up it a notch; doll out some spit shine and actually put a little effort into ianink.com this month, adding a couple new sections, complete with several spiffy new drawings (like Big Metal Robot!).

 

2006_01_01
VISIT IANINK.COM 2005

Old man time has turned another year once again. 2005 was a pretty good year, though: knocked a golf ball well enough to sport a 1.6 handicap, sailed a little boat from Tahiti to Hawaii, released my first album, A Whole Bunch Of Vowels, uploaded a third of a book, and even drew a couple of cute cartoons, too.